Naruko in Ouran
by lynch8man
Summary: What if Naruko was forced to attend the Ouran high, after the war with Madara? You'll find out what else happens if you read... Will not replace Ouran's Ninja. Lots of swearing, cameos, references and all that good stuff. Fem!Kurama, Fem!Naruto
1. Chapter 1

Starting today you are a host!

The teacher called in the new student. And a blond girl entered the classroom. She had long blond hair with double pony tails. She had cerulean blue eyes. She wasn't wearing the school uniform. She was wearing an orange and black coat and underneath was a fishnet undershirt. She was wearing black pants. And black sandals. She also was wearing a black headband with a metal forehead protector. The design looked like a snail that fell over. The most noticeable part of her appearance was three whisker marks on each of her cheeks.

The teacher looked to his notebook. "Please introduce yourself, miss." The girl looked across the class. She noticed two twins grinning at her. The one she noticed the most, was a girl. This girl was wearing a boy's uniform. Why? Is she a cross dresser? She didn't want to think about it too much. She looked at the rest of the class. "My name... Is Naruko Uzumaki Namikaze."

*Sakura Kiss plays*

In Naruko's mind a female voice chuckled. 'Naruko,' it said, 'they're staring at you.' The blond mentally sighed, 'I can see that, Kyu.'

The teacher tapped his pen. "Miss Namikaze, please sit next to Mister Fujioka." Naruko nodded, "Hai." She sat next to the GIRL.

The class was rather boring. Apparently lunch was 4 hours long. Naruko was walking around the halls of the school, looking for a place to study. 'Is this really a school?' She thought, 'It's huge!' 'That's what she said,' Kyu said, snickering. Naruko rolled her eyes at the lewd joke. After spending so long with Jiraiya-sensei, she's used to the jokes and, like tsunade, has found them annoying.

Naruko found a room called, 'Music Room 3', and sighed, hoping it would be quiet. When she opened the door, flower petals literally flew at her. She had to duck in order to dodge the petals. She heard multiple male voices and one feminine voice say, "Welcome, the Ouran Host club."

Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school Ouran Academy. The Ouran host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.

Naruko's eye twitched. 'A... Host club?' She thought. 'Kami, this is so weird.' Kyu said. She noticed that Fujioka girl standing with the boys.

A black haired boy shifted his glasses. "Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru, isn't that the girl you said transferred into your class?" The twins and Haruhi nodded. The boy looked at his notebook, he bit his lip, seeming a little frustrated. 'Damn, why haven't I been able to pull up any files on her?' Naruko noticed his staring and gave him a dark glare. "You." She said. The boy came back to reality. "Hm?" He said. "Kyoya Ootori. I've heard about your family. They run a police force, correct?" Kyoya smiled, "Yes." Naruko chuckled lightly. 'What's so funny?' He thought.

Naruko glanced at the girl and closed the door behind her. "Are you a lesbian?" This shocked all of the hosts, it even shocked Kyu. The girl blushed lightly, "N-No! I'm a guy!" Naruko smirked. "I know a girl when I see one." The tall blond boy snapped his fingers and the twins started to charge Naruko. It surprised her, but she jumped over them, sliding into the 'Gentle Fist' style stance. Just then a very tall boy walked towards them from the back. His eyes widened noticing Naruko for the first time. The girl noticed him. "Takashi?" Just then, before the twins could tackle Naruko, a small boy kicked them away. Everyone was shocked. Even Kyu was shocked. 'Naruko is that...?' The blond mentally nodded.

Suddenly Naruko hugged the little boy tight. "Mitsukuni!" She shouted. Takashi chuckled lightly. Honi glared at the twins, "Don't hurt my little cousin." He said, with venom in his voice. Naruko blushed lightly. Honi turned and hugged her, rubbing his face in her chest. Naruko giggled, "it's so good to see you." Tamaki, the male who snapped his fingers looked at Mori. "Mori-senpai, who is this?" Takashi smiled at the two hugging, "That's Mitsukuni's younger cousin." Kyoya quickly looked at him, "What?" Takashi smirked at Kyoya lightly, "She's been missing for four years." Kyoya's eyes widened. "She's the only one that's ever taken on Mitsukuni and his brother at the same time, and win." The twins' eyes widened and Naruko smirked. "You still wanna fight me? I wasn't gonna tell anyone her secret anyways." Tamaki appeared dumbstruck. Naruko giggled hugging her cousin. "Do you still have Usu-chan?" Honni giggled holding the bunny. "Yep!"

Naruko glances at the tall blond, "Tamaki-sempai," she said, catch the teen's attention, "I would like to join your host club." At this, Kyoya mentally smirked, he shifted his glasses. "This is a host club, I don't think the ladies will-" the dark haired boy was cut off by the tall blond, picking up Naruko. "Welcome to the Ouran host club!"


	2. Chapter 2

Naruko yawned, waiting in the club room for the others.

It was only the day after the incident and she was surprised that Tamaki was so open to letting her join.

The double doors opened up, and rose petals flew in the room.

The first to come in was Haruhi.

Naruko glanced at her, she was wearing a kimono, in fact everyone but Naruko was wearing a kimono.

She blushed mentally and glanced behind them, noticing a huge group of girls behind them.

She rolled her eyes.

"Ah! There she is!"

Tamaki shouted with, annoying, glee.

She put a hand up and gave a very Kakashi-like smile, "Yo."

Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school Ouran Academy. The Ouran host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.

*Sakura Kiss plays*

Naruko sat next to Mori and Honi. Naruko was surprised that some people actually requested her. She was smiling, eating a strawberry cake with her cousin. Naruko was staring at a black colored door at the back of the room. "Has that always been there?" She sensed a malicious energy from the door as it opened, she quickly got into the Gentle Fist stance. Honi put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. Naruko dropped out of the stance and continued to stare in the direction. A man in a hood with black hair that covered his eyes, holding a cat puppet.

Tamaki was freaking out in a corner, babbling about dark arts and curses. Naruko smiled and stood. She walked up to the boy. "What are you doing here?" The boy under his hood said, "You, I sense a dark evil within you." 'He doesn't even know the half of it' Naruko thought. 'Haha, yeah. . . Hey!' Kyu said annoyed.


	3. Chapter 3

Naruko sighed.

What's with this guy?

He's so damn creepy.

Tamaki shivered when he saw Nekozawa.

#Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school Ouran Academy. The Ouran host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.#

*Sakura Kiss plays*

"Naruko-chan! Keep away from the ghoulish creature!"

Naruko rolled her eyes.

"You're pretty ghoulish yourself, senpai," she mumbled to herself.

Tamaki heard this and sat in the corner.

"Where is Belzenef? (I think that's how it's spelled)"

The twins chuckled to themselves.

Haruhi sighed.

Nekozawa looked at Naruko, who had decided to ignore him.

"Don't ignore me!"

He said, eerily.

Naruko rolled her eyes up to the ceiling.

"Why me?"

Nekozawa was skulking around the room, looking under cushions.

Naruko finally stood and glared at him, "If you don't go away," she began and then gave a very very creepy smile, "I will have to.." She whispers something in his ear.

His face became paler than before and he ran back into the room.

Naruko gave a cheerful smile and turned back to everyone else.

"Well now, we can continue!"

"Wow Naruko," Hikaru started, "What did you say to him?" Kaoru finished.

The blonde smiled, "Oh I told him that I'd rip out his intestines and shove them straight up his-"

"As much as I want to hear this, I'm sure the ladies do not wish to." Kyoya said, cutting her off.

Tamaki tilted his head, "I don't understand, what was she going to say?"

There was a chain reaction of face palms from the hosts and some of the more intelligent ladies.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruko sighed, waiting in her limo for the twins to bring Haruhi there.  
She looked at her orange watch, "Three.. two... one.."  
The door swung open and the twins flung her in, on Naruko's lap.  
"Sup gorgeous?"  
The door slammed shut.  
Haruhi let out a scream as they drove to wherever they were taking her.  
-Sakura Kiss plays-  
#Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school Ouran Academy. The Ouran host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.#  
-Time Skip-  
Haruhi was being dragged by the twins to somewhere in the 'Jungle'.  
Naruko was busy staring at a huge totem pole, trying to mimic the weird faces.  
"That's attractive," Kyu said, rolling her eyes.  
"Isn't it?" Naruko retorted.  
After about ten minutes, Haruhi came back to Naruko, wearing a bright yellow hoodie.  
"Why is it yellow?"  
Haruhi shrugged.  
"I think orange would have looked better on you." she said, smiling.  
Haruhi smiled, rubbing the back of her head.  
"Hold on, where's your swimsuit?"  
Naruko sweat dropped.  
"Well... you see."  
She twirled her fingers together, "My swimsuits are a little too small around the chest. And I haven't gone shopping in a while."  
Haruhi sweat dropped, 'Well, at least she's honest. And not as prissy as those other damn rich people.' she glanced at Kyoya sitting under an umbrella, sipping a drink that he's probably too young to drink.  
The twins and Tamaki were having a water gun battle, and Tamaki was losing.  
Naruko smirked, pulling out a large water gun from her bag, "oi, Hitachiins, two against one isn't very sportsman like. Let's play a game.

.

Everyone versus me!"  
Haruhi's head tilted, "W-Wha..?"  
Wouldn't everyone versus her be even more unsportsmanlike?  
Takashi was suddenly standing next to Naruko holding a checkered flag.  
"Ready.

.  
Go."  
Naruko grinned jumping into the bushes.  
Kyoya shifted his glasses, pulling out a sniper class water gun.  
He aimed in the bushes and shot where she was, "Got her."  
Haruhi tilted her head to the other side, 'That was quick.'  
The twins pushed the bushes out of the way and gasped, Tamaki took a look and gasped too.  
Where Naruko should have been there was a soaked log.  
Kyoya's eye twitched, 'That's not physically possible.'  
Mitskuni giggled.  
Kyoya glanced at him, "Hunni senpai, how did she do that?"  
Mitskuni giggled, "She's a devious one, she's got a few tricks up her sleeve."  
Takashi gave a small smirk.  
Tamaki's jaw was pretty much on the floor, just then a water balloon hit the blond in the back of the head.  
Everyone looked up to a palm tree, that held the Blonde, who was sitting, tossing a water balloon up and down in the air.  
"Sup, nerd."  
Tamaki pointed up at her, "attack!"  
The twins aimed their water guns up at her and just as they were about to fire, there was high pitch laughter.  
Naruko looked around, "Huh?"  
Suddenly the tree and ground where the tree was began to spin, and raise.  
Naruko held onto the tree, "What the Hell!"  
Underneath was a dirty blonde girl named Renge, she was wearing a swimsuit but also seemed to be cosplaying.  
Naruko rolled her eyes, "Ugh, Otakus."  
She walked off with Mitskuni, holding him like a stuffed animal.  
Naruko and Mitskuni were playing in the water when suddenly a giant wave came out of nowhere and washed them away.  
Haruhi did hear Naruko shout, "WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!" As they were washed away.


	5. Chapter 5

"WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!"  
Was all Naruko could shout as she and Hunni were washed away by a sudden wave.  
When the waters settled, Naruko and Hunni found themselves lost, possibly on the other side of the building.

Naruko squeezed her hair, trying to get water out, causing it to fall on Hunni.

"Heeeeeyyy!"

Naruko giggled, "Sorry."

Hunni puffed out his cheeks, shaking the water from his head.

"How far out do you think we are?"

Naruko shrugged.

"We did get washed away by a tidal wave. We shoulda just waved it off"

Hunni groaned at Naruko's terrible pun.

They started walking though the forest, Naruko carried Hunni on her shoulders.

-Meanwhile thousands of miles away-

Tamaki was screaming "ALLIGATORS!"

Haruhi jumped away from the snapping gator.

"Are they Alligators or Crocodil-"

"THAT'S YOUR CONCERN?!"

-Back to our heroes-

Naruko was staring at a hidden camera in a tree.

"DO YOU EVEN PRAISE THE SUN?!"

Then stuff happened.

A/N: I just realized how boring I find this episode is, so I'm pretty much skipping it.


End file.
